Do you prefer pornography to intimacy with your romantic partner? Does your partner complain that you’re more interested in pornography than sex?
According to sex addiction expert Patrick Carnes, 6% of Americans (that’s 18 million people) are sex addicts and for every three men with this issue, there’s one woman. Of those people, 70 percent of sex addicts report having a problem with online sexual behavior. Nielsen Online has reported that one-fourth of employees use the internet to visit porn sites during their workday. Online porn sites find that they get the most traffic between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. According to Divorcewizards.com, divorce lawyers report that pornography is a big issue in divorce these days. The anonymity of the internet allows one to meet with others in chat rooms (or online reality games such as Second Life) without insecurity, creating an image of oneself that has little resemblance to who the person is in real life. It is especially difficult for people to stay away from internet porn because we are always on our computers, and it’s always available.
If you are more interested in porn, than your partner, there’s some chance you’re doing it wrong, and by “it” we mean sex. In later posts we will address more how-to relationship and sexuality issues but for now, given the prevalence of sexual addiction, it’s worthwhile to check in with yourself and get honest.
Take this quiz
If you answer “yes” to any one of the questions below, you may be at risk of being obsessed with pornography.
1. Do you need to watch pornography with increasing amounts of time to achieve your desired excitement?
2. Are you preoccupied with pornography (thinking about it when at work, with your partner)?
3. Have you lied to partners, friends and relatives to hide the extent of your pornography watching or collection?
4. Do you feel restless or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop watching pornography?
5. Have you repeatedly tried, but were unsuccessful, to control, cut back, or stop watching pornography?
6. Do you use pornography to escape from problems or to relieve helplessness, guilt, anxiety or depression?
7. Have you jeopardized or lost a significant relationship (even your marriage) because of your pornography habit?
8. Have you jeopardized your job or education because of your pornography habit?
9. Have you found yourself watching pornography longer than you intended?
10. Have you neglected responsibilities to spend more time watching porn?
If you found this quiz overwhelming or you answered Yes to many of the questions, it would be worthwhile for you to explore the issue of sex addiction and pornography addiction. We recommend Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous as a good place to start to get help.
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